Grieving your best friend

French poet Anatole France said: “Until one has loved an animal, a part of one’s soul remains

unawakened.”

We know that sharing our life with a pet can give us the most unconditional love

we will ever experience, but it also can be the most unconditional love we ever give. These

friends, guardians, partners, and soulmates enrich our lives with their love and loyalty. It is an

honor and a privilege to sign on to love a pet for their lifetime, be it long or short, knowing in our

hearts that our commitment ultimately leads to the rainbow bridge. We give them our hearts,

and when they pass, our heart and soul goes with them. And until one has lost a Loved One

one cannot understand or fathom the intensity and power of grief. It’s as though all the power of

love and life has inverted and is now pulling us into a reality for which we have no map or guide.

And often we are not prepared for the depth and duration of pain that loss brings, even if we

have fair warning of a Loved One’s death.

PET LOSS GRIEF IS REAL GRIEF

Love is love and loss is loss. Pet loss is not ‘less than’ other forms of loss, it is just different, and

it requires a different approach that honors the deep and loving connection we share with our

pets. Pet Loss grief work is an underserved, and very specific, niche. Past, and much of current,

grief work has been linear based and stuck in stages and pathology, mostly ignoring the human-

pet bond. Everyone deserves a conscious way to navigate this major emotional passage in life

with love and compassion.

Mourning and grieving over the loss of a pet can be especially challenging as it can be

disenfranchised; minimized by others, and not universally acknowledged as a ‘real’, deep,

profound, and heart connected loss. Grief over the loss of any pet can also mean dealing with

having to decide when “it is time to say goodbye” causing [or triggering] trauma, deep guilt,

intrusive thoughts, and the pain of second guessing our choices.

GRIEF NEEDS TO BE HONORED

When you’ve lost a beloved pet, it is imperative to find others who honor your loss, who validate

your unique experience, allow you your feelings; those who hold a compassionate heartspace of

love and connection, not a judgmental, problem oriented, or “replacement mentality”. Grief is

universal and yet utterly personal. For as long as we have loved, we have grieved. Early

humans buried their dead with funerary ritual, flowers, and artifacts to show their deep love and

honor the loss of their Loved Ones, including animals.

GRIEF IS LOVE

Grief, ultimately, is a form of love. But in our modern, often detached, grief-illiterate society we

must take extra care to make room for grief; to give it a voice and let it be seen, heard, felt,

honored, and tended to, with loving care. We need to stop looking for set “stages” to adhere to

and learn to take it slow and focus awareness on our individual needs and readjust our

expectations of ourselves. Grief is new territory and the rules for our normal living do not apply.

One of the biggest challenges of grieving in modern culture is the prevailing mindset of ‘fixing

things’. But there is no fix. You don’t solve grief, it's not a problem and it’s not a pathology, or a

mental illness. It is, in fact, one of the most natural things we will do as human beings. If you

love, you will grieve - it’s part and parcel of the whole living, loving package; it’s part of being a

complete and healthy human being. The reason you don’t fix - or even heal - grief is that your

grief is the process of your healing from the loss of your Loved One. Your grief is an expression

of your love and connection. Some call it the price of loving, and even though we know going in,

still we choose to love.

Your connection with your beloved pet mattered. Your love for your pet matters. Your grief

matters.

A passionate and intuitive animal lover, pet mom and foster, spiritual counselor, teacher, and

author since 1995, Pamela Ann Noxon, trauma-informed Certified Grief Educator, Holistic Grief

Coach, and Grief Workshop Leader, Holistic Health Practitioner, Clinical Hypnotherapist,

Hypno-Anesthesiologist, Certified Grief Movement Guide, Art Therapy Practitioner, Yoga

Instructor, Author, and Founder of Mourning Goods, offers a unique voice in the field of grief

with compassionate and authentic ways to help those in loss [human or pet] heal their life with

their grief and stay connected to their loved ones. Her conscious, holistic, and loving protocol is

an ideal fit for pet lovers. Pamela helps people find transformation, healing, love, and

connection to live a full and abundant life after loss or trauma. She brings comfort and support

to grievers and trains others as Holistic Grief Coaches.

Pamela has partnered with DOTR to bring their clients exclusive offers of discounts on grief

coaching, workshops, courses, and the Mourning Goods collection of unique condolence gifts.

For more info see: https://www.mourninggoods.com

Written By: Pamela Ann Noxon